Monday, November 9, 2009

We May Have a Date and Once an Infertile, Always an Infertile....

So, according to the NP, the analogy of my cervix being like a steel trap is not far off. I had my 39 week check-up today and still no progress. The door is sealed shut, Fort Knox style. Early on in my pregnancy, I learned that I have a pretty narrow pelvis and that that could cause some complications (and increase chances of a c-section). Well, it appears this may be contributing to the steel trap. Baby G's head is resting squarely atop that little pelvis of mine, so while he is ready to engage, my body is not.

Huh. Sounds familiar. My body is not doing what it's supposed to? Story of my life, no?

A fellow IVFer friend of mine who recently delivered her little one became frustrated at the end of her pregnancy as she became overdue. Naturally she had lost so much faith in her body during the course of treatment, but pregnancy helped her reclaim some of this as it was finally beginning to do things 'right'. I mean, there is something so immensely powerful in being able to grow and nourish another human when for years your body and medical science seemed to be proving time and time again that this was not possible. To actually have things go the way they should is a miracle in and of itself. So for my friend, the fact that her body was not engaging in labor was threatening to rob that new-found faith. I feel that way in many respects. I swear that no matter how far you think you walk away from the evils of dirty IF thinking, you're never quite far enough.

In fact, I called this long before today. Call it 'waiting for the bottom to drop out', because after 5 years of infertility, I have been conditioned to think this way. All along I had a strong suspicion that either my body would deliver too early, way too late, or not at all without medical intervention. So the latter is the likely candidate now and we're scheduled to begin an induction Monday the 16th (with birth planned late Tuesday), if he doesn't arrive before then. But hey, if I somehow avoided more medical intervention as far as childbearing is concerned, it would be out of character. I have to say though, I am incredibly relieved to have a final date. As of now, I feel like I might be pregnant for the next 5 years. It's nice to know that won't happen.

In other news, Mr. S's brother and his wife had announced that they would start trying immediately after marrying. Well, they married a little over a month ago and guess who's already 4 1/2 weeks along? Yeah. While I'm excited to have a cousin so close in age to Baby G, I must ask: Why must I be surrounded by the mind-blowingly fertile? I mean, really?

7 comments:

Nikki said...

I have to first comment on the pg announcement. Really? I mean, really? I'm shaking my head here! Yes, I'm happy for them, and happy that baby G will have a little cousin to grow up with.

I'm glad you have a date, and I really hope that baby G makes his grand appearance on his own! Thinking of you daily!

Michelle said...

I know the feeling of being surrounded by the ultra fetile. It is so frustrating. I am happy to hear you have a date. That is so exciting and I am so happy that your dream is finally coming true. Sorry that your body is failing you again. Maybe it will come through in the end...

Lorraine said...

So soon! You are going to see that baby in person! Wow!

I hope it all goes well and your body doesn't disappoint you too much - after all, it's done a great job of growing little G. Lots of good wishes to you!

And take the cousin for the blessing it will be - having a age-peer in the family will be enough to make up for the uber-fertile thing. And if you go for a second maybe she can be counted on to oblige again?

Sarang said...

Oh, I just emailed you and now feel very "flip" in my response to you about possible baby due date delays and you "handling it well".

I am sorry. Really sorry.

I'm sorry you have to have this worry at all. :(

I truly hope all goes smoothly. I do know at the end of the day you will have a beautiful precious one. I just hope it's not too worrying for you from now 'til then.

About the "honeymoon" baby, I am keeping my mouth shut here. Just one word: fachrissakes!

It will be wonderful though in time when the cousins get to the age they can play together.

The Swann's said...

I too must just ask, "Really?" It never fails... And unfortunately, I have heard the IF pain of hearing these so easily obtained pg never get easier.

Onto the good news! You're going to have baby G in your arms sooner than later!!!!! Oh such a fantastic moment that is quickly approaching!!! Thinking and praying for you and Mr S!!!

Me said...

Yeah the 1 month'ers are especially irritating. >:(

Another Dreamer said...

Glad you have a date!!! So great, hope things go smoothly.

And... wow about the announcement. Just wow.