Monday, June 11, 2012

The End to the Acupuncturist's Saga...

To get up to speed, start two entries below this one and work your way up. I guess it can be read as a thread of sorts. Anyhow, this is my final response to this lady by email. No, it is not at all healthy to wallow in anger (and believe me, I'm pissed), but I would have felt like letting sleeping dogs lie would have been doing a disservice to myself (for not standing up to this self-righteous douche bag) and future infertiles that happen upon her.

"Dear fucktard acupuncturist-

As my husband put it, 'worst response ever.' Actually, negligent and insensitive come to mind.

If I had realized that you had such a soap box that, if you look closely enough at your email, demonizes me throughout, I never would have stepped foot in your door. That is the antithesis of being a healer. I feel sick that I paid you money at all.

I can understand that being in your business you have to hold passionately onto eastern medicine alone, but that is where we differ. You see, I believe that neither western nor eastern medicine have all the answers, but I'll tell you that the former gifted me the greatest little boy imaginable. And when you feel the need to use my session to state sweeping conclusions that even science has not definitively come to (and please, do not argue this point as it is not THE point) when you are being paid to 'help' the very process you demonize, you are hitting below the belt and not being consistent. This has to do with my family and yes, I take this personally. You should have recognized this and if you had any social understanding, you would see that using me (who endured countless years of infertility and treatment) to evangelize and expound on the evils of IVF would only hurt, not help. In short, your words were not well received.

And for goodness sakes, speaking for future clients, please reconsider serving anyone with infertility who will or has approached medical intervention. When someone has reached this point in their journey, they are well educated and above all, heart broken. None of us wanted to be down this road and none of us need any further trampling on our hearts.

I am not AT ALL interested in maintaining this dialogue. Please do not respond. Your tales of being 'disturbed' by what I'm doing to build my family will not be helpful to either of us."

Holy Cuh-Rap. Hold Me Back Because I am About to Cut a Bitch!

Well, folks. I sure do know how to pick 'em. For the back story on this acupunturist, see the post below this one.

After sending the acupuncturist a politely-worded email just voicing my concern, this is what I got back in response:

"Dear S:

Good Luck on this journey and your opinion was received. My intention was to inform and perhaps spare more suffering down the road.. My belief is that knowledge is Power..

I am viewing your situation from a different paradigm and world view.. The cause and effect from Functional medicine points out very clearly the relationship between a mothers metabolism directly effects the baby's.. The IVF specialists may not talk about this because essentially it is about pumping up the body to whatever degree is needed to get the job done so to speak..If the drugs overload the organs and cause toxicity that is what the baby ingests as well. allopathic medicine only registers toxicity at life threatening levels but the science of functional medicine is looking at the toxicity coming from the mothers placenta at birth.. The stats are startling and I think in mainstream we don't "register or acknowledge these stats.

This is why I was so forthright in sharing my opinion Because I am deeply disturbed as other professional colleagues.. again the argument about genetics is not really looking at the environmental stressors that cause the genetic mutations.Anyway I think you got my point. I hope this was helpful and not more disturbing for you.. actually is not easy for me to inform you but I felt as practitioner it is my responsibility..

best to you"

If that isn't the most full-of-herself crapola I've ever read! It's almost laughable. Almost. Except for the bulging, pulsating vein in my forehead and sky-rocketing blood pressure. Thoughts?

Maybe I'm Overreacting?

Nothing brings out the hypersensitivity than infertility for me. I forget that not everyone exists on the plane where using the term 'implanting' for embryo transfers or suggesting that relaxation cures all makes them homicidal as it does for me.  And as I get closer to my cycle, this becomes more so (and no, I'm not even on meds yet!)

So, keeping this in mind, I have a hard time viewing my recent acupuncture appointment with objectivity. Perhaps you can help me with this...

During our session, I mentioned that my son, G, who is of course an IVF baby, has allergies. Just to clarfiy, they're seasonal allergies and they get pretty pronounced during spring, with runny eyes/nose when he's outside. I don't know about you, but it seemed like EVERYONE had allergies this last season. He also seems to have some minor rashes that crop up from time-to-time, all of which have subsided since the summer has approached. OK, so with that being said, do you know what her response was?

He has allergies because he was the product of IVF, because, as you know, she shares, IVF babies are more likely to have allergies. This was said without any consideration that we have allergies in the family or that we live against an overgrown hill or that perhaps many women needing IVF have more autoimmune issues and therefore are likely to have heritable allergies, thus increasing the numbers of IVF babies with allergies.

Then, as I'm reeling inside from this (but too much of a pussy to call her on her logic that is pointing out a long string of correlation rather than causation in research), she also indicates that I still have toxins in my tissues from IVF...three years later.

I am not here to argue whether any of the above points have basis (although it sounds like it). I think IVF is too young of a technology for us to have all of the answers, but so far what we've seen is what I mentioned--there can be any number of exlplantions for the conclusions she's hung her hat on and announced to me as I embark on another cycle.

But that's still beside the point.

My point is this: if you have an IVF soap box you wish to share, let me give you some advice. Do not pick the moment when you have a paying customer full of needles who is about to embark on a cycle and already has a child conceived via IVF laying in front of you to share it. You with me?

In a way, I felt like she was demonizing the process and, indirectly, me. Your child, her words suggested to me, is less healthy because of something you did. And now you're about to do it again, possibly to another child. Would I have loved to conceive my child without medication? You bet your sweet ass I would, but that wasn't in the cards.  Maybe that makes me sound hypersensitive and paranoid, but even after years of developing thicker skin, I guess this infertile lady still needs to treated with kid gloves because these subjects--infertility and my child, will always be close to my heart.