Wednesday, April 15, 2009

PG Stuff

At the risk of sounding positive (whose blog am I reading??), we had our 6th (yes, you read that right) ultrasound yesterday and as always, despite my heart pounding terror sitting in the waiting room, it did not fail to astound. Of the 5 we had previous, only 2 were actually prescribed. The first extraneous one was just for peace of mind because our RE rocks and allows such things and then almost 2 weeks ago, we had a bleeding episode following a session of insanely tame sexy time which prompted an 'emergency' ultrasound at my HMO (emergency as in I was freaking out, despite the fact that the bleeding had completely stopped).

My HMO, in all their big corporate 'let's save a buck or two at the expense of up-to-date care' suckiness, had the shittiest machine imaginable. After being spoiled by the crystal clear images at the RE's office, we could barely see the flicker of a heartbeat with the HMO and in fact, the practitioner couldn't even identify the head from the bum or the source of the bleeding, so you can imagine that when my RE offered me another appointment later that day, I snapped it up. Yes, 2 ultrasounds in one day, but if it means sanity, then sign me up.

The equipment was world's different. Not only did we see the head, but we also saw the newly emerging limbs, the umbilical cord and best of all, movement. We also spotted a blood clot far away from my uterus that was likely the source of the bleeding. Thankfully, it's since resolved itself (I hear this can be common for pg women due to increased blood flow). It was the first time that I really started to grasp that there is a strong likelihood that at the end of all of this, we may actually have a baby.

We officially graduated from the RE's last week and had our first OB appointment yesterday. This was significant for us in a number of respects. During our last pregnancy, we were 'graduated' at a mere 6 1/2 weeks. There was an entire month between that ultrasound and the one I got at my new OB's and by then, the baby had been long gone. So, you might be able to imagine my utter co-dependence on my RE. Firstly, they have been AMAZING. Even on my week of 3 ultrasounds, they never made me feel as if I was a burden or completely over-the-top in my anxiety (which I probably was). They held our hand, spent time discussing everything, so when it was time to leave the nest, I was afraid. I mean, in my past experience, leaving RE=bad things. So as we sat in the OB's waiting room, I know that the last time we had been set free was still at the forefront of both of our minds. I could see the other waiting room as if it were yesterday. Thankfully, as we decided to go with a provider covered under my PPO rather than my HMO (and yet still in the middle of being double-covered I still never had IF coverage), we will likely never step foot into that other waiting room again.

At 9 weeks, 3 days, our little bean is measuring at 10 weeks 1 day and moving, twisting and waving up a storm. I was so relieved that I was seeing life on a screen outside my OB's office, that I actually screamed a few times (yes, when I get excited, I squeal like a little girl). I know that it was all in relief. My baby is alive. That's all I can think. I can barely attend to some of the details others were catching because of the joy I felt in just seeing proof that he/she had found a way to exist beyond the RE's office. At that point, it felt real. Of course, as one gets farther away from that experience, it begins to revert back to the surreal feelings bordering on disbelief. After explaining my heightened chance for insanity without frequent feedback, the NP gave me the option to come back when I want for an ultrasound. Awesome. I've found another enabler. Now I don't feel so lost outside my RE's doors. I do wonder, will there ever be a week during which I'll feel confident enough to not have an ultrasound to reassure me? Probably not, but I can say that compared to a few weeks back, I'm in a much quieter, calmer place.

17 comments:

Kat470 said...

So glad everything looked great on the ultrasound. :-D

Martha said...

Yeah for your moving baby! I am so glad you three are doing well. Thanks for sharing the happy news!

Mr. Shelby said...

It was an awesome appointment!

I do, however, have a small confession. That was me screaming like a girl, not you, Shelby.

-Mr. S.

banditgirl said...

Wow, incredible, incredible!!!!! I totally understand your US-addiction, by the way. And I totally giggled reading Mr. S.' response here. I bet it was both of ya.

~*~Bodhi~*~ said...

Sooooo glad to hear that everything is on track...


xxxxx

The Swann's said...

Oh yeah!!!! It sounds absolutely fantastic the feeling to see your baby, still alive and kicking (literally)!!!! I'm so very happy for you and Mr S! I cannot wait to see photos of baby OUTSIDE your body!!! :-) Congrats mommy and daddy!!

My Reality said...

I am so glad the little one is alive and kicking!

courtney said...

I'm so glad things are looking good!

Lost in Space said...

So glad everything is looking good and that each passing day seems to get a little easier....

xoxo

Sarang said...

OH! This is such wonderful news. I am waving right back at your little bean! So, glad you are feeling at peace.

S said...

That's soo awesome!! hahaha I can just imagine the collective girly screaming from you both!!

I'm glad that a little more sanity is creeping in.... that peaceful feeling is wonderful.
xx

Just Me. said...

Oh my! I haven't been around for some time and what great news!!!

I am so happy for you! Feel so late to the party to say congrats!!!

Anyway, big congrats, hun and yes, I remember me squealing followed by a torrent of tears!

hugs

itsazooaroundhere said...

This was such a wonderful post to read - I am so happy that the ultrasound went well and that you are feeling some peace and happiness.

Oh, and I LOVE that you added a ticker. Yeah!!

Michelle said...

That is such great news. I am so happy and excited for you!

Heather and Jase said...

Yay for the "bean dance"!

Lorza said...

That is awesome. This is a wonderful post. I am happy for you guys!!!

楊承琳yaya said...

cool!i love it!AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,性愛,a片,AV女優,聊天室,情色