Me: "Aw, what was the twinge? I'm getting my period I bet. I bet it's my period. Goddmanit! I bet it's all over."
Me (2 seconds later): "What if that's implantation cramps? Are there such a thing? Cause, it could happen. I could be pregnant!!"
Me (2 seconds after that): "Holy crap! My boobs are sore. They're never sore. But I'm certain it's the progesterone. It has to be. My boobs weren't even sore when I was actually pregnant. And there's just no way I'm pregnant. This is so not gonna happen."
Me (4 seconds later): "I went a whole four seconds without thinking about every twinge in my body. Go me!"
Me (2 seconds later): "What was that twinge? Damn it!"