Friday, September 21, 2012

The Little Embryo that Could

Once upon a time, I started a pregnancy out with low betas and low progesterone. This was following an IUI we were sure wouldn't take. But as the week went on, the beta and progesterone rose to low normal levels and within a few weeks we had two appointments: one in which we saw a perfect sac and fetal pole, and the other in which our little one's heartbeat clocked in at 120.

And then, the next appointment-silence.  No heartbeat. An embryo that had arrested weeks before.

The moral this tale taught me was that even when you think you're out of the woods, you might not be. Sometimes early signs are warnings of things to come.

But then another part of me has learned stories of fighters out there who defy statistics, fighters who once seemed out of the game but came roaring back onto the scene, proving everyone wrong.  I pray that this one is the latter.

On Monday, our beta was 325. A perfect doubling time every two days over a four day period of time would be 1300. Today, we were at 1580. I couldn't convince myself that today would be bad news. One day? Perhaps. But today is good news. I'll take what I can get.

I have no flippin' clue as to what's going on or how to feel about it.  Optimism with a huge piece of caution pie, please. And I know we'll know more at our ultrasound on Monday. No, strike that, we may not truly know until we either have this baby or don't. But at this point, that's a chance I'm willing to take.


banditgirl said...

OH my god, I've been checking back to see if there was any news, and there is now!! I understand everything you are saying here completely, but can I please just jump up and down, because that's how I feel right now??? Keeping my every toe and finger and hair crossed for a successful US on Monday and on

AnotherDreamer said...

I understand being uncertain of how to feel. Still hoping for you!

Lorraine said...

You're right of course, but it still feels like such good news. What can you do but just keep hanging in there?

Lots of good wishes to you!

Baby Smiling In Back Seat said...

(Tentatively) way to go!

Hopefully awaiting Monday...

cheryllookingforward said...

I'm thinking of you today!!!