Friday, December 12, 2008

HOPE

There is just something about having a real, solid IVF plan in place with your doctor with actual dates and numbers that makes a girl feel more hopeful and less...infertile, if you will. Today, I met with my new RE and felt really good about everything. I spent some time freaking out over costs and plans, but at the end of the day, we have a chance. We have a real, solid chance of bringing home our child. Of course, there still exists that great big if, as nothing is ever a guarantee, but at this moment in time, it feels more likely than it ever has. Even if this feeling is only fleeting and even if it turns out to be misleading, let me bask in it for a moment.

I will 'throw' in an IUI in a few weeks and after that BFN (don't ya love that positive thinking?), I will immediately starts BCPs and head into a long L.upron protocol, with an estimated mid-February retrieval and transfer. We've elected to buy a package of 3 fresh and 3 frozen (s.hared risk), with a guaranteed 70% back if we don't bring a baby home, which will leave us enough to turn around and adopt. Of course, if we bring a baby home before using all tries, we're out that money, but I would be happy to have this problem. Financially, this will be a hurdle, but one that I am more than willing to make sacrifices for. Today, I feel like the universe gifted me something I've been missing for some time: hope.

19 comments:

Cassandra said...

Hooray for hope!

I hope that the SR plan turns out to be a big waste of money and it works on the first try.

Nikki said...

Isn't it the best feeling to have those dates set on paper?

Yay on your big step ahead! I too hope you end up with dealing with the problem of "I paid for shared risk, and the first try worked - now what?"

Good luck!

Lorraine said...

This is great news! It somehow takes the sting out another BFN - although maybe this is the secret trick to getting an IUI to work - and now you know that you are moving forward.

So happy for you!

Michelle said...

I am so excited for you! It sounds like a great plan!!

Sarang said...

I can "hear" the excitement in your voice. And it is wonderful.

Hoping for you!

'Murgdan' said...

Awwwww. I miss hope. I'm so happy you have some!! I'm hoping for you too! :-)

Karen said...

I hope all your hopes are realized. Forward motion is good when it comes to infertility. I am very excited for you!

Martha said...

I'm so happy to hear of a plan in place!

Jendeis said...

It's a wonderful thing to have a plan. Hoping that your SR money is a big but wonderful waste!

Just Me. said...

Woo-hoo to hope!!! I've been hoping for great things for you guys.


(((hugs))))

Guera! said...

I can feel your hope and I am happy for you. I too hope the money is a waste and it works on the first try! This is exciting!

Another Dreamer said...

I am so glad you have a plan of action now. Best of luck with it hun!

Tara said...

This is awesome - I love Hope. I hope she visits me again soon :)

I hope the SR fund isn't too much of a financial burden, but I also hope its a waste and that everything works the first time!

Lost in Space said...

A plan brings direction and direction brings hope. I'm glad you are feeling good about everything and have some real forward motion helping to bring back the hope!

banditgirl said...

It's so good to hear you being hopeful, you needed this so bad! So good to know too that you are happy with the doc and it all feels right. I will be lighting my candles for you and I will be sending you some real fertile monkey-vibes all along...

chicklet said...

I'm jealous of your clinic's shared risk plans. Mine's not that forward-thinking yet so it's almost all out of pocket. However, with no real reason for it not working even after 3 IUI's, 2 IVF's, and a FET, they have been good enough to throw in a free ICSI last round and free drugs this round. So I guess they're not all bad...

I Believe in Miracles said...

Don't you love having a plan? I think the knowing if this, then... it's very helpful. Great news about the shared risk. Crossing fingers that the IUI will work and you won't have to go through the IVF.
~~HUGS~~

I Believe in Miracles said...

Don't you love having a plan? I think the knowing if this, then... it's very helpful. Great news about the shared risk. Crossing fingers that the IUI will work and you won't have to go through the IVF.
~~HUGS~~

Hope2morrow said...

Bask away, girl. You have every right with this amazing news! I'm so glad to hear your new plan! And I'm thrilled you like your new RE!