Monday, December 1, 2008

Pretend 2 WW

I am beginning this "2 week wait" (and I put this in parentheses as it's really more of a joke) with a strong mocha in hand to signify my complete lack of belief in this cycle, which is truly justified this time around. Of course, the last time I had this same lack of belief, I helped myself to a Martini during that 2 WW and discovered that I was actually pregnant after all. That was very naughty, but when you're lying on the table after the baby batter injection and your nurse is patting you on the shoulder, looking over your piss-poor, barely-there semen stats and advising you 'do not pass, do not collect $200, go straight to IVF', well, a lemon drop Martini sounds pretty logical. A positive pregnancy test does not. Go figure. Hence the mocha.

Nurse 'Dumber than a bag of rocks', or Nurse DTBR, the one solely responsible for my wasted IUI, gave nothing but a sheepish smile and no explanation for my beefcake, likely already-ovulated follicle, terming the procedure as a 'late IUI'. Oh, do you mean, a 'useless IUI' that you completely f$%&ed up? She didn't seem at all moved by any of it, so I will respond with a strongly worded letter to the powers that be, something I know I can accomplish seeing as how I'm completely useless in person. The lady is lucky I came down off my homicidal, c.lomid-fueled state otherwise she would have met the same fate as the Bev Mo lady.

Nikki mentioned something about the big ass follie being a possible cyst. That is an issue, and one that was considered, but both doc and NP DTBR (in her infinite lack of wisdom) did dismiss this given that a cyst would not have continued to grow at the rate my follie did. They both concluded that this was an unusual circumstance in which my body had already chosen a dominant. So, how do we avoid this in the future? Well, no longer seeing nurse DTBR is one way. And another? If I have ANY reservations about a cycle, I'm canceling. I will not waste any more time, heartache, or money on chances that equal zero. I did that for years. It's time to move on.

14 comments:

Nikki said...

Good luck sweetie.

Hugs to you. I'm sorry everything seems so messed up right now. I wish there was something to make it better.

Holding out for your miracle :-)

Sarang said...

I'm sorry, too, you had to go through that experience. And I'm glad you'll write them and let them know. You are so articulate -- I think in writing they can understand the full magnitude of the lack of professional handling and allow you to get it off your chest.

And I, too, am praying for your miracle. xoxo

Guera! said...

You go! I would love an update on the response to your letter.

Karen said...

I want to slap that nurse for you! I hope your letter gets her canned or at least "talked to." I'm sorry you're not hopeful about this cycle. I know you have reasons not to be. I will still hope that it works out for you though.

Tara said...

Hey lady - I am so sorry about this cycle. I hate it when I feel like I have to be smarter than my RE. I'm holding out hope for this one, still.

Enjoy that mocha :) I had a yummy peppermint mocha today (but decaf...).

xoxo - T

Michelle said...

So sorry. Definitely DO NOT see that NP again. Writing a letter is a great idea! I am hoping for the miracle as well! ((HUGS))

Jill Cathey said...

HAHAHA - I love your name for NP DTBR!!!! Too funny. Sadly, I think her cohort is here with me, as my NP. I am angry for you - hope you get a different NP and different results next time.
musicmakermomma.livejournal.com

twondra said...

I found you through L&F at Stirrups. I'm thinking of you. (((HUGS)))

Tammy
www.twondra.blogspot.com

banditgirl said...

I was and still am so pissed for you! It is just mindblowing to see how those who are meant to help us can make the process more difficult and painful. As if it weren't already emotionally draining enough. I don't get it.

Hope2morrow said...

I'm still holding out hope for ya!

I will say when I haven't followed my gut, I have wound up regretting it. I think your decision to go with your gut will help you in the future. Lesson learned though!

Just Me. said...

I'm so sorry! I really wish I could say something to make you feel better. I would have liked to kick that nurse for you! I am still hoping for hope for you guys.

((((hugs))))

Lorraine said...

I hope you never have to see Nurse Rockbag again. We already know you are quite the letter-writer - can't wait to see what you come up with on this subject!

I also do hope you end up with the Miraculous Beefcake Baby, but I know it doesn't help to get hopes up when things went so badly this time. Still, maybe the pretend 2WW will somehow be less agonizing than usual...

Martha said...

Big ((Hugs)), I'm proud of you for writing the letter, looking after yourself. Take good care, thinking of you.

Lost in Space said...

Huge hugs, Shelby. I know there are lots of reasons to not be hopeful for this cycle, but I truly hope you get the biggest surprise of your life. I know that probably isn't much help or comfort, but know that I am thinking of and hoping for you.