Show and Tell!

When I tell people who have known me for only a short period of time that I lost approximately 90 pounds over the span of a year and a half, they tend not to believe me. It's not that they think I'm lying, but 90 pounds is a lot to wrap your mind around. I mean, 90 pounds is the size of a small person. Ok, a really small, Nicole Richie-sized person, but still, it's A LOT. You get my drift here.

Rather than show these non-believers living proof, I tend to emphatically say, 'just trust me'. I always watch their eyes grow wide with inspection, trying to imagine what another 90 pounds might look on me (or rather, another 75, as I'm struggling with that last 15). On most days, I'd really rather not bust out the pictures. It's amazing they exist at all as I got so amazingly good at dodging cameras (in fact, that's how I took up amateur photography-I wanted to be BEHIND the camera instead of in front of it). Still, as hard as it is to share them, I figured that since in many ways I've already bared my soul here, I might as well go all the way. Besides, I don't think you'll truly take my word for it until I cough up the proof.

So, here they are. The Before:
































And The After:























Oh, did I mention Mr. S had his own transformation as well?

And mind you, neither of the before pictures were at our heaviest weights. I made sure all cameras were banned within a mile radius of me at that point.

On the first leg of my big weight loss journey, I did it alone and lost the first 70 pounds. After that, we moved from Idaho to California and I took a 'hiatus', maintaining my weight in the process. 7 months later, Mr. S decided to join me and we set out on a die hard quest. In the course of losing my last 20, he lost 50. Damn men and their faster metabolism! I have to say, although the last 20 were the hardest, they were in some ways the easiest as there's just nothing like the buddy system.

The first question I always get is, "how did you lose all the weight?" and personally, I think that part is the least relevant. It's how I gained the weight that is most important as being cognizant of this helps steer the difficult course of maintenance, in which I have been less successful. Actually, I had maintained my weight for a year until my pregnancy this April and as a result I happily gorged. After I lost our baby, I unhappily gorged. So, that's how I gain weight-through emotions. With the happy and mostly with the sad, I reach for the cookie box. Now this wouldn't be a problem if my life maintained a happy neutral, but as life does not seem to work this way, especially in dealing with infertility, my best defense is in being aware.

14 pounds up from my goal weight (after losing 6 this month), I am still working everyday to keep myself healthy. I'm well aware that this is a struggle neither of us will ever be able to ignore. And after all that IF has taken, it's up to me to not allow it to take this as well. Finally something I can control on this roller coaster.