Tuesday, August 5, 2008

New Leaf

Yesterday I decided to turn over a new leaf. Well, actually, I've turned this leaf over many times before but the damn thing never seems to stay put! :) Ok, all metaphors aside, I decided to get back on the band wagon of not just weight loss, but healthy living.

I was not gifted with a naturally-toned derrier or a distaste for all things chocolate, but luckily, I was gifted with goal orientation that is the result of severe tunnel vision and a love for clothing (which, incidentally, looks better on my ass when it's smaller). Actually, I'm quite good at losing weight. Between January 2006 and June 2007, I lost a grand total of 90 pounds, bringing me to my 'goal' weight. But in order to ever have a necessity to do this, one must be very good at gaining weight as well. And trust me, I'm an expert. To demonstrate this, between April of this year until now, I gained 20 of those pounds back. 20 pounds in 4 months. Oy. Of course, once I found out I was pregnant, I gave myself license to gorge. After all, I was eating for two, right? (does it matter that one of us was the size of a sliver of rice?) And once I lost the baby, I gave myself license to grieve through gorging. I have since decided that I cannot add disappointment in myself on top of everything else that has happened. Enter: my new leaf.

And how does this relate to fertility (or rather infertility)? Well, if you've been riding the IF wave, you already know the answer to this question, but I'll grace you with it again. There is a huge link between weight and fertility and I experienced this first hand. Some time in the middle of my weight loss was when I sought help for IF and at that time, I had some wonky blood work. On top of that, I suspected (and still suspect) that I have PCOS, though this has never been medically confirmed. A year later, and at a healthy weight, my labs were normal, my lining thick and fluffy, and cysts were no longer an issue. No, I don't think being heavier caused my IF, but I suspect it didn't help.

So, if I'm going to keep my eye on the prize, I just simply cannot neglect even one detail. And if I don't end up doing this for a child, in the very least I can do it for myself.


Hope2morrow said...

I like the new leaf, and I suspect you'll feel better about yourself once you do this. You're a great writer, and I'm excited to tune in to your story.

My question is- will your hubby join you in turning over this new leaf? Or out on a limb by yourself? Ha! Get it (new leaf, out on a limb)? Gee, I'm such a dork.

MamaSoon said...

That is a great goal and I wish you to your goal as soon as possible.

Lost in Space said...

I like that you want to do this for yourself. That makes a huge difference in it all.

Congrats on the huge weight loss too!! That is incredible and there is no doubt in my mind that you will be able to get those 20 pounds back off. You go, girl!!!

Karen said...

You and I have quite a bit in common. I lost 90 pounds too, but unfortunately I'm more of an expert than you at gaining weight. Packing on the pounds is one of my great strengths. I could teach a class on the subject. I've gained back about 70 of what I lost in the past three years since we've been dealing with IF. I admire your leaf turning and hope it proves successful. I will follow your efforts and hope they inspire me to turn a leaf too.

Shelby said...

My hubby (for whom I'm still trying to fashion a clever online name) is also doing some turning of the leaf. He is considerably heavier than I am (at this point in time, although I almost matched him in weight once!) and I worry, not only for fertility, but for health in general. It's always good to have a partner in crime!